Score: 4

"There's a part two?"

submission: Brawl Funnies [Dick 1]

date: May 8, 2009

The concept of a part two to this scares the shit out of me seeing as I couldn't finish part one. I was willing to run with it until we went to sticking pictures of people onto monochrome bodies. We get it, Brawl movies happen often and tend to be only marginally better than this (on average). Then there are the ones like the first section of this. Interesting theory, good music, good animation, good movie.

Long story short, putting a gem ontop of a turd is a sure fire way to get people to dig through the turd looking for another. It's also a dick move.

Score: 6

"Good idea, Bad execution"

submission: Deliver That Fulp

date: April 22, 2009

A. Your parser is terrible. "Take" should not be the only word that gets, acquires, picks up, procures, attains, or otherwise secures an item. In fact... I'm not entirely sure you didn't just program it to understand a very very small handful of phrases word for word, which makes the game needlessly complicated since you have to get the right word.

B. Lack of any real thought on the part of the player. Gloves are gotten then worn, pills are gotten then taken since no other options exist for them (especially not finding out what they are for until you take them or fail to do so before trying to deliver), blindfold goes on the one individual who will wear it. This really doesn't speak of good game design. Try to give us either other options to try with the stuff, or at the very least make it harder to figure out the right answer.

C. I pulled too hard and hurt the baby. No... bad game designers... What the fuck is the answer to that one? It certainly isn't "gently deliver baby" I tried that shit.At the point you start running on "around the ass to get to the elbow" logic to keep me from finishing the game, the game doesn't deserve to be played anymore.

D. I think you have something that could have been good. Then it was halfassed in 3 different places to the point of kinda sucking. I do think the option for sequels exists and even look forward to them.

Score: 4

"Am I the only one..."

submission: Run Elephant Run

date: February 5, 2009

Who thought that this was really annoying? I get it, it is artsy and nicely stylized. That is not an excuse for stopping the action, making me hit the space bar, and try again every couple of seconds because randomization caused an undodgeable pattern of stuff to fly at me. It's a decent little bit of art, but all in all a bad game.

Score: 7

"To everyone below (not naming any names, too many)"

submission: & So We Love Playstation

date: January 29, 2009

What is wrong with you? "I didn't see _______! I wanted to see ________ cry cry 4 star". Is that any way to review a movie? Okay, on to actually reviewing it. Two things.

One, raise the volume on your singing. Not the audio track, your actual singing. Sounded sort of like you were melodically mouthing the words to the song at some points. A little more volume and emphasis would help that.

Two, and this is not actually intended to make the movie better, but rather to shut people up. If you had any given thing appear on the screen for longer (like having each one added to a picture containing all of them as its said) then people would stop going "I didn't see _______ up there!" Even when _______ was there. Your call really. I'd personally ignore those people if I were you.

Remember, no one cares if your movie is good or bad in the long run, they care if your movie is popular. And that's just sad, because this is a better movie than a lot of more popular ones.

Score: 7

"Coming from someone who has ADD..."

submission: ~SA:ChristmasBattleParty~

date: January 7, 2009

The beginning was the movie's biggest downfall. This is just my opinion but I do think it'd work better being released in multiple parts. Some clearly showed itself as practice work while some of it definitely seemed polished enough to be stand-alone work. And now, I call dibs on doing what I want, reviewing the last of the mini-stories:

It was heartwarming and generally awesome. Sure, it may share some overbearing similarities with a certain Tim Burton movie but it went far beyond a simple rip-off or parody. I very much enjoyed it.

I'll let someone else take their swings at the other mini-stories. But let it be known, they weren't bad, they just seemed inadequate when compared to the last one.

Score: 7

"Nice game. Needs work"

submission: Hallow Mind

date: December 3, 2008

Rule #1 of monster killing:
There simply aren't enough bullets
Rule#1-A:
Bring somethings stabby choppy or hacky
Rule#1-B:
If you can't reach your melee weapon it won't do you a bit of good.

That was the biggest issue I had right there. Your melee attack should take precedence over EVERY other action you have. It's there to save your ass, which means that you're better off using it now and then by accident then not being able to get to it when you need it.

That being said, it was a good game. A little rough around the edges maybe but a good game none the less

Score: 6

"For every turkey you don't eat..."

submission: (Twisted) Cooking Mama

date: November 19, 2008

I'll eat 3 more. (this is a lie) on my thanksgiving we eat but one creature. The mystical Turduken The size of a turkey, the clawing the crap out of you ness of a chicken, and the uh... tasty waterproofness of a duck.

But seriously. The game was so so. I get that it was a difficult thing to code which is why I'm not scoring it so much as a game but as an interactive movie type thing. Maybe I'm wrong and the game WAS supposed to be the primary focus but it was more preachy than most games tend to be. That being said, did you know that farm raised turkeys can't be kept outside. One rainy day can kill 90% of them. They just look up, open their mouths, and drown.

My point is, this is a good, if preachy, informative thingy. But not the world's greatest game.

Score: 7

"Been done before, Apart from one part"

submission: The Lazer Collab Reloaded

date: November 12, 2008

Good or Bad first?
Bad it is:
Lasers as the punchline has been overdone far too much. Basically you just wait to see what's gonna spurt the laser.

Good:
Ode to Joy played with lasers. Funny as hell

The verdict:
Try using lasers throughout your segment or in the beginning.

Suggestion for sequel:
Lightcycle racing alongside a laser, laser cuts to the side, blows him up. Maybe not the greatest idea in the world but the punchline doesn't revolve around which object on screen just fired it's laser.

Score: 6

"It's videos like this that make me hate this place"

submission: Obama Vs. Mccain

date: November 12, 2008

Not you, the reviewers. One, he didn't say vote 5 or anything particularly high. He said don't zero it for retarded reasons which so many of you clearly did. I've seen shit far worse than this get tenned by 90% of this site. I mean... what the hell did this election do to you people? I would have given this thing the exact same score if it was entitled "Why McCain should have won" and ran the same way but with him winning. This is Newgrounds. Don't vote on politics. Vote because it was seriously pretty funny.

And whoever reports me first as abusive just proves my point.

Score: 7

"Do I laugh or cry? Both? Both..."

submission: Shinukoto!

date: October 3, 2008

I won't pretend that I understand this and I have to say, your choice of pacing is a bit offputting. But you've got great animation skills and you get whatever emotion you're going for at any given point in time across. All in all, good. Might want to work on the pacing a bit. Not saying you can't go for both funny and sad, just saying that it transitions like going from 88 miles per hour to 88 years ago. Which I assume is quite startling.

And fuck anyone that chooses to nitpick how many years ago that reference should actually be, I know it's not 88, that's for sure.